my mind recently

  here's another one, cause my bestie told me it better in bahasa and honestly i love it too Mimpi Buruk tiba tiba aku terbangun dgn perasaan kacau pikiranku penuh dgn rekapan ulang seperti film berantakan jantungku berdegup kencang aku pikir tak apa, mungkin hanya mimpi buruk tapi tidak ada mimpi buruk yang tdk kuingat setelah bangun aku adalah pengingat yang baik aku merapalkan banyak mantra agar jiwaku kembali tenang banyak sekali, hingga hampir muntah rasanya tidak kunjung berlalu aku kembali berpikir hal hal yang membuatku merasa seperti ini sebelumnya apa ada? dari pada rasa khawatir yg berlebihan  ini lebih seperti rasa takut takut karena sendirian takut karena kedinginan sebenarnya, bukan ini maksudku namun faktanya, aku memang sendirian dan kedinginan karena aku di kamar kostku dengan suhu pendingin ruangan yang rendah lalu aku kembali memilah memori sampai kepada masa kecilku masa dimana aku sering mengalami mimpi buruk panjang memang selalu panjang, karena aku menolak un

  hi...  it's been a while actually Rara said she's appreciate my mini blog so, i decide to write again today..... Nightmare I suddenly woke up with a chaotic feeling My mind was full of messy movie recaps. my heart was beating fast I thought it was okay, maybe it was just a nightmare But there's no nightmare that I don't remember after waking up. I'm a good reminder. I cast many spells to calm my soul. so many that I almost vomited It didn't work. I thought back to the things that made me feel like this before. What is there? rather than excessive worry  this is more like fear afraid of being alone afraid of being cold Actually, this is not what I meant but in fact, I was indeed alone and cold because I'm in my boarding room with a low air conditioning temperature then I sorted my memories back to my childhood a time when I often had long nightmares it was always long, because I refused to wake up I was too curious about what would happen in my dream withou