my mind recently

  hi...  it's been a while actually Rara said she's appreciate my mini blog so, i decide to write again today..... Nightmare I suddenly woke up with a chaotic feeling My mind was full of messy movie recaps. my heart was beating fast I thought it was okay, maybe it was just a nightmare But there's no nightmare that I don't remember after waking up. I'm a good reminder. I cast many spells to calm my soul. so many that I almost vomited It didn't work. I thought back to the things that made me feel like this before. What is there? rather than excessive worry  this is more like fear afraid of being alone afraid of being cold Actually, this is not what I meant but in fact, I was indeed alone and cold because I'm in my boarding room with a low air conditioning temperature then I sorted my memories back to my childhood a time when I often had long nightmares it was always long, because I refused to wake up I was too curious about what would happen in my dream withou...

  in my 20 Sincerely, Amyrah.... my teens life was up and down, idk what to say. not really dramatic way, but i can say it was a lot. at least for me. happiness is temporary  " nothing last forever..." - Wildest Dream by Taylor Swift Talk about psycological, moodswing diagnosed cuma alibi. Sebenernya memang bahagia itu waktunya sedikit. Seperti garis finish . hanya satu garis, tapi kamu harus mengitari satu lapangan. Terkadang juga effort yang dikeluarkan tidak sesuai dengan kebahagiaan yang dirasakan dalam waktu yang bisa dibilang singkat. Well ... tidak semua usaha menghianati hasil. Mungkin itu semua tergantung persepsi setiap individu. Namun, kebahagiaan itu berbeda-beda tolak ukurnya. Berbidang-bidang dan berliku juga. Rasanya perlu menghabiskan seluruh hidup buat mencari kebahagiaan. rumit. love is a scam " one heart broke, four hands bloody" - Favorite crime by Oliva Rodrigo Cinta itu datang dan tumbuh dari cara-cara yang tidak terduga. Rasanya kurang ...

"BEAUTIFUL REMINDER TO REMIND YOU FOR LOVE YOURSELF MORE" love something unconditianally makes you feel no pain. it will be feel like disaster if you just hope something that doesn't be cometrue when its have chance to become one. when you have a feeling to someone, we have a feeling to secure them and want to be the one they used to be there in their hardest time.  when you love someone, you can't see lies in their eyes. their eyes just bright so breathtaking. when someone you love leaving, you start checking what is wrong with yourself and feel down. thats okay. but dont you wish to be a part with everyone who will hurt you or break you? when you feel like you not worth it, think how many people that says 'thank you' to you for your help, present, words, compliments, and other things. when you start feel insecure about your body, face, or even voices. remember everything that you've done with that body, face, and voice. is that will happen if you don...

"Asia is a Continent with highest curiosity of other people" everyone are talking about each other, does not value other privacy, and judging everything based on one source. let me tell you why..... based on my perception as a humanbeing who is born, leave, and grow in Asia, i was raising around cultural that has made hundreds or even thousand years ago. People around me try so hard to keep the traditions and stuff. But, are they realized? we leave in new era. with technology and globalization. lets start with patriarchy.  a lot of countries in Asia who recognized as a developed country. no offense, but not for me. yes, the countries are developed. but what about the mindset? are all countries who recognized as a development country is rated based only on economy growth? the point about a country is the people. no matter how big the country is or how many natural wealth that they earn, but if the people can't build a 'good'...

BEAUTIFUL FEELING.. SHOULD I TRY IN? "Mudah di ucapkan, sulit dilakukan" Berdasarkan pengalamanku sendiri, berharap pada manusia adalah hal yang sangat melelahkan dan hopeless.  Sebagai seorang perempuan, aku sering kali beranggapan untuk membuat hidupku lebih bahagia dan sempurna bila menemukan seorang yang aku inginkan. Tapi jujur anggapan itu terlalu melelahkan untuk di teguhkan sebagai prinsip. Bagiku lelahnya aku adalah titik jenuh yang harus tidak aku sepelehkan. Karena pada hakikatnya menguras perasaan sama melelahkannya dengan menguras kolam air. Saat kita sudah sampai pada titik jenuh itu, disanalah kita tahu bahwa hal ini salah ataupun sebaliknya. Aku terlahir sebagai seorang anak perempuan dan anak pertama. Tanpa aku sadari, sejak kecil aku sudah terbilang mandiri di umur yang masih belia. Aku cukup berfikir kritis dan memikirkan orang lain. Hal-hal itulah yang membuatku sadar harus membawa diriku kemana dan bagaimana. Aku cukup mandiri...